VPNs Don't Protect You
Virtual Private Nonsense: What VPNs Really Do—and Don’t Do—for Your Cybersecurity
In the animated short “Virtual Private Nonsense,” a blend of slapstick comedy and satirical tech commentary sets the stage for a deeper exploration into one of the most misunderstood tools in cybersecurity: virtual private networks (VPNs). Through jokes about watching pirated Godzilla movies from a South Korean server and cracked Fortnite skins downloaded “safely” through VPNs, the short highlights a growing issue—people are placing blind faith in VPNs to protect them from modern cyber threats.
In the follow-up commentary, Ron Gula breaks down what VPNs are actually good for, where they fall short, and what security-minded individuals and organizations should be doing instead.
The Popularity—and Misuse—of VPNs
For years, VPNs have been marketed to the public as a must-have privacy tool. The message is simple: “Use a VPN and your browsing is private.” But this has led to a number of misconceptions, particularly the idea that VPNs provide ironclad protection against all types of cyber threats.
The reality is more nuanced. A VPN encrypts your internet traffic from your device to the VPN server—essentially just moving your internet gateway. It can help hide your browsing from your ISP, but unless the VPN provider is rock-solid and transparent about its policies, it might just be another middleman monetizing your data.
Even worse, VPNs can lull users into a false sense of security. The video’s main character, Greg, illustrates this perfectly—using a VPN while streaming pirated content, downloading cracked apps, texting credit card numbers, and trusting sketchy VPN vendors with zero due diligence.
What VPNs Don’t Protect You From
According to Gula, the most dangerous attacks facing users today—phishing emails, malicious downloads, and compromised websites—aren’t mitigated by VPNs at all. In fact, most of these attacks occur over already-encrypted HTTPS connections. Once traffic is encrypted end-to-end, VPNs can’t inspect its contents, meaning they can’t detect threats hiding inside emails or files.
This creates a paradox: while encryption is good for privacy, it also blinds many security tools—including VPNs.
The Case for Break-and-Inspect
To address these blind spots, some organizations deploy “break-and-inspect” technologies that decrypt, inspect, and re-encrypt web traffic. While this can raise privacy concerns, it also allows for much deeper threat detection.
Gula introduces one of his portfolio companies, Trinity Cyber, which performs full content inspection on network traffic. Trinity goes beyond simple domain filtering or DNS blocking—it actively removes malware and exploits in real time. While typically deployed in enterprise environments, the concept illustrates the future of protective cybersecurity: smarter, deeper, and more proactive analysis of data in transit.
Break-and-inspect is not for everyone, especially individual users, but for organizations that handle sensitive data, it's becoming essential.
The Other Problem: Open Ports and Legacy VPNs
In addition to weak traffic inspection, legacy VPNs create another issue: open ports. Most VPN systems still rely on a remote access interface that can be discovered and attacked. VPN vulnerabilities are frequently exploited—recent high-profile breaches of Cisco, Fortinet, and Ivanti VPN systems prove just how dangerous this attack surface can be.
To address this, Gula highlights another company in his investment portfolio: Enclave. Rather than providing remote access through static IPs and open ports, Enclave uses zero trust network access (ZTNA) to build ephemeral, authenticated connections between devices. This means you can allow secure access to internal systems—without having any internet-visible targets. It’s stealth, zero trust, and modern.
Rethinking VPNs for Personal Use
So where does that leave the average user who still wants privacy online?
A VPN can still help:
Hide your browsing from your ISP
Access geo-blocked content
Avoid local network snooping in public Wi-Fi situations
But it won’t:
Block malware downloads
Prevent phishing attacks
Protect you from malicious websites
Detect ransomware or credential theft
For better protection, users need browser-based threat prevention tools (like Conceal or Pixm), secure DNS resolvers (like DNSFilter), and—especially for businesses—content-inspection tools like Trinity Cyber.
The VPN Industry’s Shady Underside
The animated short pokes fun at how easy it is to fall for sketchy VPN vendors. One vendor is “hosted in Armenia,” collects and sells customer browsing data, and runs out of a government data center—comically guarded, of course. It’s a humorous but sobering reminder: just because a VPN is advertised online with five-star reviews doesn’t mean it’s reputable.
Users should ask hard questions before trusting any VPN service:
Do they log data?
What’s their jurisdiction?
Who owns and operates the infrastructure?
Do they do any threat analysis or filtering?
Do they offer strong two-factor authentication?
Lessons for Cybersecurity Professionals and Investors
In the second half of the video, Gula offers insight not just for users, but for cybersecurity professionals and startup investors.
The biggest takeaway: the world is moving beyond VPNs.
With the rise of nation-state threats, encrypted malware delivery, and software supply chain attacks, we need better tools than legacy VPNs. Full content inspection, zero trust networking, and advanced browser-level security are shaping the future of secure access and internet use.
For investors, this means thinking twice about backing “just another VPN” startup. There’s limited innovation—and significant regulatory and trust hurdles—in a space already crowded with commoditized solutions.
Instead, the real opportunities lie in companies that:
Solve for modern threats (e.g., ransomware, phishing)
Offer zero-trust access without open ports
Provide visibility into encrypted traffic safely
Are modular and cloud-native
Wrapping It All Up
“Virtual Private Nonsense” wraps comedy around truth: most VPN users are relying on outdated or misrepresented tech to keep them safe online. While VPNs still serve valid use cases—especially for location shifting and ISP privacy—they are far from sufficient for modern cybersecurity needs.
If you care about protecting your digital footprint, Gula recommends asking more from your VPN provider—or ditching it entirely in favor of more robust solutions. Enclave and Trinity Cyber offer just two examples of what’s possible when we go beyond VPN hype.
So the next time someone asks, “Do you use protection?”—maybe don’t just say VPN. Say zero trust. Say content inspection. Say you're actually securing the things that matter.
Because “no VPN for you—one year” might just be the best cybersecurity advice you get in 2024.
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Ron Gula is the co-founder of Gula Tech Adventures and a leading voice in cybersecurity investment and innovation. This post is part of his ongoing effort to educate both the general public and the tech community through satire, analysis, and animated shorts.